by Mimi Tanner, Author of Hard To Get - The Timeless Art of Conquering His Heart
Here is a recent email I received:
I was just on the verge of calling my ex, whose name is John. It has been a year since we split apart and three months since we last talked.
When John left me, it took me by complete surprise as it was totally out of the blue. I was able to walk away retaining what dignity I had.
My last words said to him were, "I was a good girlfriend to you ... if you are going to leave, I wish you the best of luck finding someone who will give you what I gave."
Not even three months later, he was calling me again. I finally put an end to his phone calls back in December, but got the urge ironically to call him today.
Good thing I read your email, because it reminded me of all the things I did for him that we women do for our significant others, only to sometimes not get respected in return.
Thanks again, "M."
Dear M., thank YOU. Your ex-boyfriend is now regretting his impulsive decision. It was his choice to take the chance of losing her forever by walking away, so now he has to live with the consequences.
How did M. handle her situation? She walked away (without making an unpleasant scene, too). She wished him all the best. She virtually guaranteed that she would be hearing from her "ex" again... She was as "proactive" as you can be in that situation!
She took control of the situation by actually creating in him a fear of loss. Her parting words to him had to make him wonder if he would ever find someone as great as she was to him.
M. didn't want to try again with her ex - and in her case, I think she made the right decision. Generally, when people treat you badly more than once, chances are good that they are not going to change.
But the "Calling Men" moral of the story is - when things are breaking up and you want him to come back to you in the near future - M.'s way can virtually guarantee that he will reappear "like magic" ... and at that point, it will be your "call" to say yes or no.
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